22 April 2026·3 min read
Show, don't tell is half an instruction
“Show, don’t tell” helps with some passages. It needs care with others.
Sometimes a sentence names an emotion the scene has already made clear. The explanation can weaken the moment by repeating what we’ve just understood.
Try reading without it. If the feeling remains, you may not need the extra sentence.
Leave room for thought
Browne and King’s Self-Editing for Fiction Writers also makes room for interior monologue. A scene can show what a person does and still need access to what they think.
Cutting every internal line can leave us watching from outside. Look for thoughts that add something we couldn’t learn from the action alone.
Try it on one passage
Temporarily remove the sentence that names a feeling and read the passage again.
If the feeling is still clear, see whether you prefer the shorter version.
If it disappears, look at what the rest of the scene gives us. You might need a more revealing action, a thought from the character or the original sentence after all.
Read more
These books explore the ideas in more detail, with examples you can try in your own work.
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers · Renni Browne & Dave King
Practical advice from two editors, with examples of how a passage can change in revision.
The Art of Fiction · John Gardner
A detailed look at how fiction works, including narrative distance and the experience of reading.
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